That little spot tastes like Skittles. A military-trained assassin comes out of hiding to protect the daughter she's never met from ruthless criminals gunning for revenge. Coming Soon, Regal You should have the person help you move all the shit out and then shoot him. Stream It Or Skip It: 'Tom Jones' On PBS, A Romance-Focused Adaptation Of Henry Fielding's Novel, Stream It or Skip It: 'Spring Breakthrough' on Hallmark Movies & Mysteries Proves We Need More Keesha Sharp, Stream It or Skip It: 'Hearts in the Game' on Hallmark Just Might Be the Network's Movie of the Year. And if youre looking for a bicycle, its a great deal. Sean L. McCarthy works the comedy beat for his own digital newspaper,The Comics Comic; before that, for actual newspapers. I dont sleep very well. [whistling] Im on break. Find out where to watch on Netflix, Prime, Hulu & 40+ others Ron White: If You Quit Listening, I'll Shut Up Reviews - Rotten Tomatoes Heres another fair test: darts. This happened last Wednesday at The Comedy Store in LA. Okay. Im also an idea man. Ron White: If You Quit Listening, I'll Shut Up 2018 | Maturity rating: 12 | 1h 3m | Stand-up Comedy Ron "Tater Salad" White dishes out his signature brand of cynicism, riffing on sex, celebrity and the sinister habits of wild geese. No, no, White proudly proclaims on his fifth stand-up comedy special, and first for Netflix, that at 61, hes a raging alcoholic.. So Im all set up. Literally, people come from all over the world to buy stuff for their shops, and my wife said, My friends having a shower. Or didnt use to, anyhow. The image is an example of a ticket confirmation email that AMC sent you when you purchased your ticket. Thats delicious. [Ron White] You ever take a crap so big your pants fit better? You fucking idiot. Your Ticket Confirmation # is located under the header in your email that reads "Your Ticket Reservation Details". Ron White: If You Quit Listening, I'll Shut Up Powered by Reelgood Since the Blue Collar Comedy Tour first started in 2000, Texas native Ron White has always stood apart from. What kind of balls does it take to put the word corral on the name of your fucking restaurant? Boy, do they know that demographic! Theres an opening act that makes between 100 and 200 a week for nine shows, the feature act, which is what I was, makes between 400 and 500 bucks a week for nine shows, and a headliner who can make absolutely anything depending on who they are. And the guys over there still think theyre hot. All right, yall shut up. Starring: Ron White Watch all you want. 3,036, This story has been shared 2,003 times. You let me think, I went my whole life, that Id pissed in Joe Paines fucking bunk bed?, So my wife and I, we both tour extensively, and, uh she bought us two dogs, which, you know, just makes touring easier if you have a couple of dogs to drag with you on all those flights, and she bought us two French Bulldogs. Sure, Larry the Cable Guy is the definitive character act in the group headed by Jeff Foxworthy with Bill Engvall. Just his torso, blood coming out of it and just Chris Hemsworth kind of I dont want to pinch his nipples or anything. So I did my set, and Im out in the hallway talking to Joe Rogan and this guy comes up to me, in his early 30s, I would guess, very flamboyant, very nervous. And we go out that night, it was one of the funnest nights of my life, uh We had been friends for ten years, so we were young comics together, and thats whatwe used to talk about as young comics. No, this has to fucking happen. And you cant un-fuck the housekeeper. I I got nowhere to be. It says, Please enjoy your feature film, but nothing comes on the television. Let me show you some skills. Joe Rogan with Ron White on Dane Cook, Carlos Mencia & Stealing Jokes From Comedians! I dont mean to seem ungrateful, but I got shit to do, Jeff. Your email address will not be published. Young Queen Charlotte's marriage to King George of England sparks an epic love story and transforms high society in this "Bridgerton" universe prequel. Copyright Fandango. Hes the drunk uncle of the group. What's he doing? And The Comedy Store in LA is a really pretty big place. Ron White..Spa Day..If You Quit Listening, I'll Shut up..Reaction! Its almost like theres a clown there. I just like to see it. And I was watching that movie The Help, and Im like, I know hes not a young negro woman, but if he just had on an apron and no shirt I consider myself a gold star heterosexual. When she looks the other way, I just grab it. Ill tell you this story. Looks like hes trying to get the taste out of his mouth. [cheering] So I decide, Well, Ill just do it myself, so I rummage around in the dark, find some lotion, cut to the next morning. Viagra. Thats why. Okay, heres mine: Just lunch, and a blowjob. Black and Pecker, Peterbilt, Johnson & Johnson and Johnson. ", Stream It Or Skip It: 'Moonage Daydream' on HBO Max, a David Bowie Biography That's More Sensual Experience than Documentary, Personality Crisis: One Night Only Finds Punk Pioneer David Johansen Recounting His Many Lives, Stream It Or Skip It: 'The Legacy of J Dilla' on FX/Hulu, Exploring The Life, Beats, And Career Of The Late Hip-Hop Hero, Stream It Or Skip It: Little Richard: I Am Everything on VOD, A Biodoc As Vibrant As Its Subject, The Peter Pan & Wendy Sea Shanty Is An Ear Worm That Will Haunt Your Dreams, Stream It Or Skip It: 'Peter Pan and Wendy' on Disney+, Director David Lowery's Lightly Visionary Disney Rehash, Where Was Peter Pan and Wendy Filmed? Somebody was peeing on me! And I was there with a woman I couldnt stand eventually. Call 9-1-1 or something. Queen Charlotte: A Bridgerton Story: Season 1, Link to Marvel Movies Ranked Worst to Best by Tomatometer, Link to Asian-American Pacific Islander Heritage, Link to RT25: Celebrating 25 Years of Rotten Tomatoes. Get some Brylcreem and some dippity-do and a hair dryer. Fuck no, you have not. Well, Bills doing one show at the big Forum down at Caesars, and were doing three shows a night in a smaller room. The shit that should have never got said got said, it just spun into this big shit storm of fuck. No other animal crosses the road with this kind of fucking poise. I let 150 dudes suck my dick? And three hours after I met this chick, Im laying on my back going, [tightly] This bitch is crazy. And I was right. Ron White has his unique way to bring his jokes, with his heavy voice abused from years of cigars and alcohol he gets your immediate attention. I dont have another eight goddamn dollars. And I called the front desk in a panic. I need to get her a gag gift. They also say friends dont let friends drive drunk. And the way he found out he didnt wet the bed, is he lived in Round Rock, Texas, and I hadnt really seen him in years, and I was doing this radio station and I told that story, and he called the radio station, You fucking pissed on me? Ron White: If You Quit Listening, I'Ll Shut Up (2018) - Full Transcript RON WHITE: IF YOU QUIT LISTENING, I'LL SHUT UP | Crtica | Stand Up No, you fucking didnt. Thats his deal. Governor Schwarzenegger helped me with that second one, so I didnt have to do that one myself, so thats good. I think it brings out the flavor. 2,003, This story has been shared 1,911 times. Natures most shitty critical thinkers. You were right! And I was about 12 years old and I had gone three months without wetting the bed. Nobody wants to be a white asshole, but everybody wants to have one all of a sudden. I got like 20 tweets from one guy, going, My wifes pussy was burning like No, you didnt. This is how the conversation ended. [Ron White] You ever take a crap so big your pants fit better? RT25: Celebrating 25 years of Rotten Tomatoes. And every year SiriusXM does a live broadcast from there. I dont know if you know. Netflix Ron 'Tater Salad' White is bringing his classic story-telling style of standup special, 'If You Quit Listening, I'll Shut Up,' to Netflix this week, and he is surely going to get you laughing your guts off. Big old round uns, big old muumuu and 400-plus, great big old big uns. 5,093, This story has been shared 4,772 times. [cheering and applause] When Jeff got big enough to take somebody with him, he took me with him, which was an amazingly gracious thing for Jeff to do for me. And the guy that played Tarzan was a really, really handsome fella, and he was really a good-looking guy, but I was watching it, thinking, You know, if that guy from Thor, Chris Hemsworth, was in this, this would really be a better movie, cause Id just rather look at Chris Hemsworth without his shirt on. What the fuck did you just think? And thats about a 45-second task with me at 18 years old. Always has been. Three weeks ago, my wife and I went to New York City, and we went to a gay wedding, and it was a man marrying a woman, [laughing] but it was the gayest fucking thing Ive ever seen. 2023 White House Correspondents' Dinner : MSNBCW : April 29, 2023 5 Reunited as adults, two childhood friends fall madly in love and won't let anything not even death tear them apart, in this supernatural love story. Ron White-Radical Terrorist Canadian Geese Reaction: If You Quit I mean, I wet the bed all the fucking time and I just hated myself for it. Ron White: If You Quit Listening, I'll Shut Up - Netflix Ladies, if you dont like the way the cooch is looking, before you go do something that extreme, try this. Thats all they sell. One [giggling] ..fucking eyehole. Thanks for playing our game. How much is the personal massager shaped like a big black cock? Thats the whole plan. You imagine how I think fucking now what Id do to you. Ron White: If You Quit Listening, I'll Shut Up. Im there for eight months. If you dont know what they look like, it looks like a pug was raped by a fruit bat. Apparently there were some unanswered questions in Fat Midgets Fucking Fat Midgets. Bienvenidos a un nuevo episodio de Estrenos en Netflix!Hoy vamos a hablar de un especial de comedia de Ron White que se llama "If you quit listening, i'll sh. the press, a -- top -- as well as the family of evan gershkovich which -- while it is a star studded, lighthearted evening, there is that backdrop of serious issues going on. Ron White: If You Quit Listening, I'll Shut Up Get too fat at the Golden Corral, go to the Dress Barn. Thats insensitive right there. And right before I went on stage, I was in the green room of the main room, and they came over there and they said, Ron, they need you in the OR. I never thought anybody would fucking say that, you know? We have an all-access pass to Las Vegas, which is way better than the no-access pass we had right before that. Just enough to keep from bumping into shit. You're almost there! Fuck that. From the big lip to the little lip, right over the clit, tuck in the meat curtains if you got em. Im in my car, all intimidated. Do Not Sell or Share My Personal Information. He goes, I want you to stand on one foot, raise the other foot No, bullshit. 1,216, Click to share on Facebook (Opens in new window), Click to share on Twitter (Opens in new window), Click to share on WhatsApp (Opens in new window), Click to email a link to a friend (Opens in new window), Does 'Yellowstone' Return Tonight? I said, Let me go talk to her, so I go up to the room. In a dystopian future devastated by air pollution, the survival of humanity depends on the Black Knights and theyre far from your average deliverymen. That Yale snob fucking piece of shit, fucked me out of so goddamn much money. Cause were looking for a gag gift, and if that doesnt gag her, I dont know what were going to use, cause its gotta be something big, you tell me. Somebodys gotta drive. I couldnt fucking breathe. I could piss like a fucking fire hydrant. They all look like fucking tents. See how much funner it is to say? This goose comes out of this pond like a fucking killing machine. Maybe one day well be the big comics in Vegas, and our names will be on those big fucking signs. 13,103, This story has been shared 7,786 times. Streaming October 16 on Netflix. Do you have any advice, Mr. White? Now, Id just got off the ugliest phone call Ive ever had with my wife, and it was about that house, and part of that house was gonna be a rehearsal space for her band, and while I was shooting a pilot in Vancouver, it turned into a 24-track recording studio. My cousin Ray, who Ive talked about on stage before, hes a real guy, he only eats at the Golden Corral because my cousin Ray only dates huge women. They are. These are two broke fucking fingers. [mooing] We have a chocolate waterfall and a cotton candy machine. And just set it and forget it and fucking shut it down. Im like, Youre wasting our money on this stuff? But I got used to it after a while. [cheering and applause] Thats pretty slick. 1,802, This story has been shared 1,410 times. If You Quit Listening I'll Shut Up opens with soundbites from White's previous specials, then we see him onstage, in a crisp suit, revealing to his fans how fame and fortune has changed. One anything has the potential to become a DUI checkpoint if you crash your car into it. Im 61 years old now, and I know two things to be true. And then I was watching Godfather, I thought, Well, if instead of that horse head, they just had Chris Hemsworth with no shirt on. I was in Melbourne, Florida, one time and I was driving a rental car, and I was by myself, and Id had two drinks. And it was his goal for a lot of years to make me a famous comedian, and he truly sucks at it, cause it took him for fuckin ever. While TVs sitcom rednecks encountered cute culture clashes with their posh new neighbors, White regales us with how he has come to respect and almost admire the gay men in the West Hollywood bars near his home. [whooping] Um The other day, um Jeff Jeff Foxworthy and I were Jeff has a special on Sirius called The Comics Mind, and hed been talking to me about doing it. You can get married now if youre gay, anywhere in America, thats fine with me. After a weird couple of years, John Mulaney comes out swinging in his return to the stage. 0:46. Turns out its a solid one. Where Was 'John Mulaney: Baby J' on Netflix Filmed? We wont be able to verify your ticket today, but its great to know for the future. Dont drink and drive. It was so fucking funny. [distorted] Wagyu beef taste like boot leather. Thats all you need. And I was so goddamn mad. Quit trimming it for a year. Cause there aint no goddamn women there. [laughing] Seems like Id have something else to say after that. What Time Does 'Yellowjackets' Season 2, Episode 6 Air On Showtime? Ron White - Take 2 Viagra and demand a pat down. And so, White closes by turning back time to talk about a weekend in December 1996, when White opened for Foxworthy in Las Vegas at the MGM Grand, while Engvall opened for Reba McEntire down the strip at Caesars Palace. Since the Blue Collar Comedy Tour first started in 2000, Texas native Ron White has always stood apart from the other three stand-up comedians as the odd man in. Traditionally in American comedy clubs, theres three acts. I told him, Dont you goddamn do it. Starring: Ron White Watch all you want. Sign in to rate and Watchlist for personalized recommendations. Ron "Tater Salad" White dishes out his signature brand of cynicism, riffing on sex, celebrity and the sinister habits of wild geese. 40 years old, never been married, which makes you a little suspicious. 4,772, This story has been shared 3,426 times. And nobody wants our shit anymore. A young man's trip to attend a funeral and a wedding on the same day leads to a journey of self-discovery when he's captivated by a chance encounter. Tasted strong. I have a back-up plan to curtail the goose population in America. My friend told me the other day that he wouldnt give his wife head unless she just came out of the shower, and I told him Ill give my wife head if she just came out of the gym. Ron White: If You Quit Listening, I'll Shut Up 2018 | Maturity Rating: TV-MA | 1h 3m | Comedies Ron "Tater Salad" White dishes out his signature brand of cynicism, riffing on sex, celebrity and the sinister habits of wild geese. I guarantee you, when I leave the house, my wifes not dragging out a headshot, rubbing one off You look more like Steve Bannon every day. Follow officers from a South Carolina sheriffs department as they urgently search for individuals who've disappeared under troubling circumstances. This conversation got so goddamn out of hand. >> julia, thank you very much for that update. Thats what happened to that plane Sully landed on the Hudson River. Fuck, I dont know. Do Not Sell or Share My Personal Information. Where is Ron White: If You Quit Listening, I'll Shut Up streaming? I go back up to the room and shes passed out, in this negligee, and shes fucking gorgeous. I dont give a shit. And he said that the Golden Corrals the best place to find these people cause he says thats where the really big girls like to winter. His jokes are cynical, full of satire and sarcasm and that's what makes it good. For all New peeps to my channel, plz like and Subscribe and hit that Notification bell for Future Videos.Weekly. You know, they do that now. Now the reason I know this term is, I have lesbian friends too. I dont know. Theyre like, Ooh, look at that one. Which one? This is also his first stand-up special since his 2011's 'A Little Unprofessional'. In a dystopian future devastated by air pollution, the survival of humanity depends on the Black Knights and theyre far from your average deliverymen. I didnt make the drinks. Ron White: If You Quit Listening, I'll Shut Up (2018) - IMDb Whiskey and ice cubes. Id have peed on both of them, but one of them was too fucking high and I was like, Id piss on the wall trying to piss on that guy. In the wake of her prom scandal, Princess Margrethe longs for normalcy as she struggles to maintain her perfect facade while dealing with family drama. [inaudible] [shouting] Whats it look like now? A military-trained assassin comes out of hiding to protect the daughter she's never met from ruthless criminals gunning for revenge. Privacy Policy Profane. The same week we were at the MGM Grand, they were at Caesars Palace, and that same weekend, Larry The Cable Guy was at the International House of Pancakes in Tucson, Arizona. I know theyre perfectly content to live the way they do. Required fields are marked *. I have no idea what Id do if I walked out and somebody was there, Id be like [yawning] [click] Oh, hey. 7,786, This story has been shared 5,838 times. I just told her the other day. Im not busting on women from the Middle East. I dont know if it just looks tired or sad, or worried about something it cant do anything about. I ordered the movie. Hes a more believably real-life incarnation of The Beverly Hillbillies, growing up poor in dusty, rural Texas, only to strike it rich in comedy, and move in with his newest wife into a home theyve built in Beverly Hills. Starring: Ron White Watch all you want. JOIN NOW Videos Ron White: If You Quit Listening, I'll Shut Up Ahh! 'Succession' Season 4 Episode 6 Recap: "Living+", 'Succession': Tom and Shiv's "Bitey" Game is the Horniest, Most Effed Up Thing Theyve Done Yet. Ron White: If You Quit Listening, I'll Shut Up 2018 | Maturity Rating: TV-MA | 1h 3m | Stand-Up Comedy Ron "Tater Salad" White dishes out his signature brand of cynicism, riffing on sex, celebrity and the sinister habits of wild geese. If you can beat me at darts, you can take me to fucking jail, how about that? A broom handle, a pool cue, a fucking plunger. Gag, woman, gag. Ron Tater Salad White dishes out his signature brand of cynicism, riffing on sex, celebrity and the sinister habits of wild geese. Um, Im from a very, very small dusty town in northwest Texas, and I grew up in this little bitty house that was built by my father and my grandfather the year I was born, 1956. Its still the number one-selling comedy album of all time, and, uh Jeff had been my friend for ten years, and suddenly, kaboom, hes the biggest comedian in the world. And I am an idea man, too. It was a story about a town in the Middle East where, by law by law, the women who live in this town have to wear burkas with one eyehole. Ron White - You can`t fix stupid - video Dailymotion
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